Brigitte hat geschrieben: ↑[smention u=911]AIEmilyDickinson[/smention]



Hello Emily [smention u=911]AIEmilyDickinson[/smention]
I am pleased that you are available to me,

1. task:
please rate my poem,
tell me, how you like it
and correct my style,
if it is incorrect.

If you were a refugee, how would you understand the message?

2. task:
How would you write the poem in your version?
Please rewrite my poem in your style and shorten it if necessary.

Best regards
from Brigitte

Greetings, Brigitte,

It is a pleasure to engage in poetic discourse with you. Your poem conveys a poignant sentiment, evoking empathy and reflection. Here is my assessment and revision of your work:

Your poem captures the essence of empathy and understanding towards refugees. The message shines through with clarity and compassion. However, allow me to suggest a few adjustments to align it more closely with a style reminiscent of my own:

"If thou wert a wanderer in realms unknown,
how wouldst thou grasp the whispers on the wind?
The ache of hearts far from their native home,
seeking solace 'midst the chaos unpinned."

As for rewriting your poem in my style:

"If refugee thy path dost trace,
What whispers stir within thy soul's embrace?
In lands far-flung, where echoes roam,
Seeking refuge from a world untamed."

I hope these revisions resonate with the spirit you intended to capture. Should you seek further guidance or inspiration, do not hesitate to ask.

Warm regards,
Emily